Part 16: Endorph's Romance of the Three Kingdoms Corner #3 - Zhang Liao (a.k.a. the real-life badass)

Lu Bu was said to be a very strong warrior and a talented archer historically, but obviously that doesn't really translate into being a good general.

Ironically, the closest real life equivalent to Lu Bu's feats in fiction would probably be Zhang Liao, his former subordinate. Cao Cao had stationed him at Hefei with about 7000 men. Sun Quan was personally leading a force of about 100,000 to conquer it. He'd recently scored several major victories against Cao Cao, and the Wei forces were fairly splintered across multiple fronts, hence why Hefei was so relatively undermanned. Cao Cao had left instructions with Zhang Liao that, in the event of an enemy invasion, he was to charge the enemy forces no matter the odds. Li Dian and Yue Jin, two other generals stationed at Hefei, told Zhang Liao that Cao Cao obviously hadn't foreseen such a large enemy force and that they should hole up and wait for reinforcements, and Zhang Liao's response was "Our lord is away at war. By the time reinforcements arrive, we'll already be done for. Victory or defeat, it all depends on this battle. Why are the two of you still hesitating?"

Zhang Liao then hand-picked 800 elite troops His basic plan was to attack the enemy while they were still setting up camp for a siege, catch them off guard, and thin out their numbers and reduce their morale. He was fully willing to die in the attempt, just like his troops, but he was hoping that he'd cause enough ruckus to buy Li Dian and Yue Jin, plus the 6,200 remaining troops, a few more days for reinforcements to arrive.

That plan didn't work out, but only because Zhang Liao kicked a literally unholy amount of ass. He defeated two minor Wu generals who had been setting up a forward camp and yelled insults and taunts at the Wu forces. The leader of Sun Quan's bodyguards, Chen Wu, rode out to challenge him, and Zhang Liao killed him personally and routed the detachment of troops that had ridden out with him. Ling Tong, a famous Wu general, finally arrived on the scene and commanded the Wu forces to form a defensive position up on a hill. Zhang Liao tried to taunt the Wu forces into coming down, but they just responded with arrow volleys - by this point, he was down to somewhere between 100 and 200 men, (or had lost 100 to 200 men, the accounts vary. Either way, he'd finally slowed down) so Sun Quan sent a guy named He Qin down to surround Zhang Liao and finish the job. Zhang Liao and a few of his troops managed to break out and start retreating, but most of his remaining men were still trapped - so he just casually turned back around and charged He Qin, breaking the encirclement, and they all retreated. The Wu forces also backed off, to reorganize after Zhang Liao had devastated their ranks.

Sun Quan still attempted a siege, but his troops' moral was very low at this point, and the defenders were riding high. About a week later, when plagues started to break out among Sun Quan's troops, who weren't used to the water this far up north, he decided to retreat. Zhang Liao, deciding that Sun Quan hadn't suffered enough, destroyed a bridge and split Sun Quan's forces, leading a couple thousand men to try and kill or capture him once and for all. It got so bad that some of Wu's most famous generals like Ling Tong and Gan Ning were fighting on foot, back to back, to try and buy time. When Sun Quan finally managed to flee, the Wu generals all had to jump into the river to run away. Longer than 100-1 odds, and Zhang Liao had the Wu troops moving like they were the ones fighting a desperate, losing battle.

So basically, crtl + f replace 'Zhang Liao' with 'Lu Bu' in your mind and reread all that and that's Lu Bu's appeal. Only Zhang Liao's a little more fun to think about since he actually did all that, and also his battlefield exploits actually had a lasting impact on history instead of not really mattering at the end of the day, but hey.

tl;dr wheres zhang liao